Friday, May 6, 2011
THE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF DUMB DESIGN IDEAS, THE BEAK
A selection from the Nevelson Wing collection, featuring another of the landscapes of a forgotten painter from wherever Dutch people live. As all of his paintings seem to bear alarming faults I will choose one at random. Let's say you and I examine this one!
This painting contains the BEAK ERROR! The artist has recorded this lovely summer scene just as he saw it splayed before him. The distant headland or bend in the receding lake shore becomes a thrusting beak shape. How like a sharpened hot dog it appears!
Frantically the tyro artist installed big clouds and vertical trees on one side but he just couldn't counterbalance the thrusting jagged beak. The pitiful collection of his life's work, shows that not occasionally, but every single time he was on the water he painted those beaks! The swells who frequented the better galleries would never have dreamed of buying his work!
It's a shame no one was there to stop our artist friend so long ago, before he had painted dozens if not hundreds of paintings, with large, prominent beak structures amidships. You see, the shapes around a river or a small bay have that same appearance everywhere. They occur nearly every time you are on a body of water, they are ubiquitous. But they invite one to make a giant dagger shape right in the middle of your canvas. And while one or two beakish designs "might" enhance a show, too many would be unsettling, and none would be the ideal.
I have personally painted an enormous number of beaks, particularly in Acadia National Park. I have at once to believe I have control over beakyness and then suddenly I have made another. So whether at your compliance officers lakeshore cottage or tethered to the rocks of a tumultuous sea, do be careful of the beak.