Danger, alligators, and other subhuman visitors

I think tonight I will write about landscape painting and animal visitors., Personally I hate animals, but they do show up and I want to talk about dealing with them. I believe I will do this as a bulleted list. Everybody seems to like those and they make an orderly presentation.

• Alligators, evidently they rarely eat people and when they do the people are in the water with them. They prefer Pomeranians and other small yippy dogs. I saw a 120 foot alligator today. I like them best as luggage. You can put a Pomeranian in a suitcase and still get it back later.
• Dogs, In my experience a dog won't bite a painting man, but a goose will. I had a dog eat a tube of thalo green once, it survived.
• Cows, are harmless but they are curious and will gather around your easel and make it impossible to work. They also may lick your palette, I have seen that. Try explaining that to a farmer, I wonder if thalo shows up in their milk?
• Bulls, A subcategory of cows, nasty and dangerous. Don't cross people's fences without permission. Find out if the bull is in the field with the cows before you enter. Always close gates behind you. Always.
  
• Snakes, I have a pair of snake boots from Cabelas. I bought them for trips to West Texas. The last time I was in Texas they were running a special on pit vipers. Having those boots made it possible not to obsess over the snakes. They have changed the recommendations on snakebite treatment, and I suggest that if you are in snaky country you research the recommendations for your area. In short, get to the hospital for anti-venom.
• Javelinas, I hate these too. Feral marauders that travel in packs, I have contended with them in West Texas. They will rifle through your belongings looking for food. They will, I believe attack a person if they get the nerve. Disgusting vermin. Possibly related to Hippopotomi , they can eat a prickly pear, spines and all. They could make short work of a foot no doubt

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• Scorpions, more Texas fare. Shake out your boots and keep your hands out of nooks and crannies in rocks etc. Their bite won't kill you but is unpleasant. There are evidently scorpions whose bite is lethal, but not in the states.
• Bees, unless you are allergic to them they are just a nuisance. If you are allergic to them, you should carry the medical remedy and probably already do.I had one sting me last year for no good reason. Eat more honey, deprive their young of food.
• Blackflies, if you paint in Maine in the early summer you know about these, they bite a big hole in you. It may leave a scar that will take a year or more to disappear. They are fond of elbows and forearms. I wear insect repugnant containing Deet. They don't find it repellent but repugnant. They will still bite you, thats their nature, however they enjoy it somewhat less. Best removed from paintings after the painting has dried. Then they will brush out.
  
• Mosquitos, be glad they aren't blackflies. I think Deepwoods Off in a spray can works well.
• Ticks, It is recommended that you tuck your pants into your socks. I just can't bring myself to do it though.I try to stay out of the brush and high grass. I do spray Deepwoods Off on my ankles whenever a go out in the summer, in a place that they are likely to be. Lyme disease is serious, I don't know why I, of all people haven't contracted it. I even paint in Lyme occasionally.
• Bears, I almost ran over a grizzly in Yellowstone, it was the size of an SUV and ran out right in front of me. I hit the brakes and missed it by inches. When painting in bear country you carry bear spray, which is a pepper spray in a can the size of a small fire extinguisher. I am sure it must work, I think. Black bears here in New England are rarely a problem, I don't worry much about them. They will generally avoid you.
  
• Fire ants, they have them all over the south, don't set up on their mounds.
  
• Piranha, never seen one. Let me know. Same for lemurs and anteaters.

My friend Scott Moore and I are opening a show March 5th at the Ella Walton Richardson Gallery on Broad street in Charleston South Carolina. If you are in the area please come. I would love to meet you.

I will be announcing a workshop in June at the inn up in the White mountains again, I will have the details for you in a couple of days. Lay down with your arms at your sides and I will get back to you.