Sunday, June 19, 2011

THE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF DUMB DESIGN IDEAS THE BIG "L"

THE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF DUMB DESIGN IDEAS
THE BIG "L"

Here is another rediscovered painting by the "Nevelson master" Dirk Van Assaerts. This particularly dull painting contains the big "L". Dirk set his easel up in front of a grand tree, and made only one design decision, that was " I better not put it right in the middle!" So he placed his subject matter slightly off center. In this case on the right, and then he forgot about design altogether, believing wrongly that "he had taken care of that".

Now, this design is not so much "wrong" as it is pedestrian. It is common and unremarkable. The peoples windmill on the right helps to give balance, but does nothing to overcome the "square" and rather static arrangement. The painting is about avoidance of the mistake of placing the subject in the center of the canvas, but no attempt has been made to make a pleasing array of shapes for the viewer.


Dirk excitedly opened the waxen seal on the letter from the Accreditation Commission For Conformity Assessment Bodies. The tiny crabbed printing in brown ox gall ink informed him that he was the recipient of the National Assembly of Compulsion grant for the arts in the amount of 12,000 Guilders. Dirk thought "I could live on that for months! Running into the squalid low ceilinged bedchamber he rolled his dozing pink wife over and told her the news. She seemed to understand and her bristled lips twitched with slow comprehension.

"And there is a show!" Dirk exclaimed at the suet filled kiddie pool that had once his trim bride. I get a one man show at the Great hall of Conformity at the University of East Delft! Dirk pulled on his splintered wooden shoes, ran out the door and skipped down the litter strewn canal towpath heading for The Tavern of Remorse and Indiscretion, waving the letter over his head
. His wife, Sepsis, went back to sleep in her new position.

14 comments:

Main Loop said...

R.I.P. Big L

He was one of my favorite rappers

mariandioguardi.com said...

I participated in a " paint the garden" South End garden tour yesterday. I can tell you, Stapleton, that I have osmatically absorbed information from your blogs and workshops. I even picked up the brush once or twice. I ended up with two little paintings that I wasn't embarrassed to show. That is a first for my out door painting.

Willek gets credit too 'cause he drags me out side kicking and screaming and he told me about you blog in the first place. I blame him.

Too bad our little Dutch artist didn't have the same access to the same master.

Libby Fife said...

That poor tree and whatever is next to it!

I liked the part about Dirk's "dozing pink wife." That seems to say it all, almost.

Mary Byrom said...

Congratulations Marian ! You just won "The Get Outdoors" painting award for 2011, for pushing yourself to go beyond your comfort zone. Congratulations Willek ! You just won "The Beyond Comfort Zone" mentor award for dragging Marian outside ! Congratulations Stapleton ! You will be receiving the "Paint & Blog til You Drop" mentor platinum award ! Your awards will be posted on my blog"Paint Eat Sleep" and you will be feted at the first annual Maine Plein Air Summer Banquet in August. Please come prepared, guests will paint all day then feast in the evening on the best local food Maine has to offer!
And Stapleton, so no one feels left out all your readers who paint outdoors are invited to come and participate!

billspaintingmn said...

I will try to stay clear of the big L!
Had my first Moxie the other day!

I was at the studio and took a break. Went to the fridge for some water, and there was a bottle of Moxie!
Just like in the cartoons, I did a double take, and asked who had it.
Jeff,(my friend in the studio)said it was his.
Well it cost me, but I had to try it!

It was so cold I think it had ice crystals as I drank it. It was very refreshing!

I began to tremble, them my hair grew out, and I had an erge to go outside and paint! After which I would light a cigar!
There is a coffee house in town that carries speacialty pops.
I now can get a refreshing Moxie in Minnesota.

Happy Fathers Day Stape!

Deb said...

hahahahahaha.. "dozing pink wife", "Lard filled kiddie pool" haahahaha.

But WAIT!!! All the books I have on composition (14 Easy Steps to Great Composition, Composition for Dummies, Create Composition Like the Masters and Composition, It's Not Just for Breakfast)) ALL of them mention the BIG L as a GOOD thing????

Have they been pulling the wool over our eyes all this time??? Is there a conspiracy to keep the Big L going, so that only the few, initiated members of the secret society know NOT to use it????

willek said...

O.K. .. Take the Tonalists... A standard format was to place a couple of trees on the right (strong Verticals), say and have a low horizon ... Is that a big "L"? And, by the way, you painted a similar picture as a Demo at Snow Camp two winters ago...

Stapleton Kearns said...

Main Loop;
All my favorite painters are dead too.
...................Stape

Stapleton Kearns said...

mariandioguardi.com ;
Dirk and I have a lot in common.
...............Stape

Stapleton Kearns said...

Libby Fife;
Dirk is living in the real world back there.
................Stape

Stapleton Kearns said...

Mary Byrom;
Will I need a fax machine to receive my award?
...................Stape

Stapleton Kearns said...

billspaintingmn;
It is generally an aquired taste.
..............Stape

Stapleton Kearns said...

Deb ;
I have dressed you up in a fine new name and responded to your excellent question out in the actual theater area.
....................Stape

Stapleton Kearns said...

willek;
Les it is an "L" design. More about that tonight. I can't remember what I had fro breakfast, much less some demo I did several years ago, I make so many paintings, and I don't keep them all.
...............Stape