THE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF DUMB DESIGN IDEAS THE BIG "L"

THE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF DUMB DESIGN IDEAS
THE BIG "L"

Here is another rediscovered painting by the "Nevelson master" Dirk Van Assaerts. This particularly dull painting contains the big "L". Dirk set his easel up in front of a grand tree, and made only one design decision, that was " I better not put it right in the middle!" So he placed his subject matter slightly off center. In this case on the right, and then he forgot about design altogether, believing wrongly that "he had taken care of that".

Now, this design is not so much "wrong" as it is pedestrian. It is common and unremarkable. The peoples windmill on the right helps to give balance, but does nothing to overcome the "square" and rather static arrangement. The painting is about avoidance of the mistake of placing the subject in the center of the canvas, but no attempt has been made to make a pleasing array of shapes for the viewer.


Dirk excitedly opened the waxen seal on the letter from the Accreditation Commission For Conformity Assessment Bodies. The tiny crabbed printing in brown ox gall ink informed him that he was the recipient of the National Assembly of Compulsion grant for the arts in the amount of 12,000 Guilders. Dirk thought "I could live on that for months! Running into the squalid low ceilinged bedchamber he rolled his dozing pink wife over and told her the news. She seemed to understand and her bristled lips twitched with slow comprehension.

"And there is a show!" Dirk exclaimed at the suet filled kiddie pool that had once his trim bride. I get a one man show at the Great hall of Conformity at the University of East Delft! Dirk pulled on his splintered wooden shoes, ran out the door and skipped down the litter strewn canal towpath heading for The Tavern of Remorse and Indiscretion, waving the letter over his head. His wife, Sepsis, went back to sleep in her new position.